I love my kids no matter what!

My kids are both different, outside the box, non-conforming. My soon-to-be 20 year old son has asperger syndrome.  He is so much more than that.  He is funny and kind and empathetic but the world has been hard for him due to social misunderstanding and communication difficulties.

My soon-to-be 17 year old was AFAB (assigned female at birth due to physical attributes) but identifies as non-binary gender.  This puts them in the transgender category.  Guess what!  It makes zero difference in term of my love for them (singular they pronouns).  I really don't understand people rejecting their on children for this or trying to force them to be something they are not. 

I have had to learn new grammar and words and acronyms and names.  It isn't easy but if that is the worst thing in my life it is no big deal.  I have dealt with things I consider to be bad.  Letting my child be who they are without judgement is easy.

I fear for safety.  This goes for both of my children.  We have suffered cruelty as a result of misunderstanding both of my children.  There are people in my town who have said they hate me.  They call my 17 year old "crazy girl" and my son has had a label of "bad kid" off and on since he started school at 3.5 years old.  People need to shut up and worry about their own lives.

The good news is that my kids know we love them and feel supported even though we have plenty of dysfunction and anxiety.  I think they know we are doing our best.

Pumpkin Pie for medicinal purposes

Sadly our sweet standard poodle died in January of 2015.  Well what the hell does this have to do with the curative properties of pumpkin pie?!  Bear with me, it is related.  We adopted a little puppy girl named Scout in May of 2015.  I wasn't really ready but we did.  She had some medical issues that kept her from traveling to us for a few weeks but eventually she took a 26 hour ride in a big 18 wheeler filled with other adoption ready dogs from Alabama to Maine.  The problem she had was bloody diarrhea which just kept coming back.  The vet suggested yogurt and canned pumpkin!  I was surprised about the pumpkin though I knew it was a really good thing to eat for various reasons.  The combination definitely helped but it wasn't completely gone.  I did some reading and learned that one of the breeds in Scout's mix, Brussels Griffon (along with lab and Doberman) is very sensitive to grains.  So we started feeding grain free and the problem was gone.

After all of this I started to think more about this use of pumpkin.  It's a source of fiber but there seems to be more to it than that for digestive health.  I have a long history of gastrointestinal unpleasantness so thought I should try it myself.  Somewhere along the way I started adding it to oatmeal for breakfast.  I don't eat gluten any more so bought some gluten free oats and started experimenting with varying ratios of oatmeal and pumpkin.  I added maple syrup and pumpkin pie spice.  It is a very yummy breakfast in my opinion.

My pumpkin pie oatmeal helped a lot.so I started pondering how I might get my son, the kid (now almost 20 years old) with autism, to eat it.  He eats mostly carbs and breaded chicken.  Lots of bread with tons of gluten.  His digestive problems have been very very difficult causing him to miss a ton of school every year starting in 8th grade.  I bought gluten free pumpkin bread at a farm stand and he loved it.  Still, I thought pumpkin bread had too little pumpkin in it to be effective.

In 2015 we went to a resort for Thanksgiving and the kid tried pumpkin pie.  He loved it!

In the summer of 2015, kid with autism was diagnosed with SIBO.  Small Intestine Bacterial Overgrowth.  The gastroenterologist said plenty of fiber and avoiding constipation was vital to prevent the problem from coming back.  Getting a 19 year old who has an aversion to fruits and vegetables to eat them is impossible so after a few symptom free months problems started again.

On Thanksgiving 2016 I made pumpkin pie with a ready made gluten free crust.  The crust was terrible.  It was hard and tough and just awful.  People weren't eating the crust but still enjoying the filling. 

Around this time I noticed that an added slice of pumpkin pie every day also did amazing things for digestion that I had not expected.  Too many CALORIES!  So I finally tried crustless pie.  The calories went from 350 to 150 and everyone loves it.  They like it better than any they've had with crust.  It's so easy I don't mind making it twice a week.

Just before this the kid was missing his private program for transition to college and a duly life and even had to come home from work early one day.  My husband took him to the doctor who prescribed Miralax and Fleet enemas.  This really helped but we decided we did not want to go there ever again.  So I make the pie twice a week.

I shared some of the pie with a co-worker this week.  She loved it, too!

Here are the recipes -

Gluten Free Pumpkin Pie Oatmeal

1/3 cup of gluten free oatmeal

3/4 cups of water

1/4 cup of canned pumpkin (avoid cans labeled pumpkin pie mix which has added sugar)

Maple syrup to taste.  Do not use a "serving" of it.  4 tablespoons is too much.  I use 2 tablespoons.

Pumpkin pie spice to taste.

In a large shallow dish (I use a pyrex 6 cup rectangular glass baking dish) mix oats with water.  Microwave on high for 3-5 minutes.  Once cooked add pumpkin, maple syrup and spice.  Stir until everything is well mixed.  It is usually cool enough for me to eat by this time.

This makes one serving.

For the crustless pie, follow the directions on a can of Libby's then instead of crust, spray the pie pan (I use a pyrex deep dish pan) with cooking spray and pour in the filling.  Bake for 15 minutes at 425F then turn down the temp to 350F and bake another 50 minutes.  It's done when a knife inserted in the middle comes out clean.  I like it when the edge is dark and crispy.

Devices in Disrepair

Homework is pretty much the worst thing in my world.  No, Asperger Syndrome really isn't.  It's all the homework sent home from school.  Granted, it is better now than a few years ago. 

My boy has modified homework which means if I think there is too much I can just tell him to do half of it or his teachers can modify it for him.  Back in 5th grade, however, the child was getting MORE homework than other kids because whatever classwork he didn't do in school was being sent home.

The absolute worst instance of this was when he had a classroom project to make a circuit board.  He needs a lot of help in staying on task at school.  The project was pretty easy and could have been done in school but since the kid was doing well in science most of the time they decided to send the para (1:1 support person) to lunch at that time.  The kids were given time in class to work on the project for 2 weeks at school.  Apparently, my child had been doing very little work on it.  So on a friday afternoon all the supplies I bought at radio shack came home almost completely untouched and I got a note that said, "This is due by monday!"

Ohhhhh, I was in such a panic.  It's hard enough to get this one to do homework anyway but to rush him to finish something huge on the weekend is near impossible.  I tried but was completely overwhelmed by the task myself, imagine how that was for my son.  I expect he was in complete shut-down mode.  We both ended up in tears and I asked him, "What did they do?!  Did they just leave you to your own devices in science class?"  He answered sadly, "Yes, and my devices don't work very well."

Gonorrhea of the Eyes?!

Spring 2009.  Alex has learned a new word!  Gonorrhea.  He said it rather frequently for a while.  I actually think he might have learned the word in health class at school.  12 seems a bit young for such things, but it's better to be informed than not.  More likely, he heard the word in a video on youtube.  Lovely.  "Mom, what's gonorrhea?"  "Mom, what are the symptoms of gonorrhea?"  "Mom, how do you get gonorrhea?"  I always try to answer his questions honestly once or twice and then I try to get him to move on.  Shortly after I explained the symptoms I went to the eye doctor.  My eyes had been itching and burning and I mentioned this in front of my children at some point.  Alex took a leap of logic and asked the amazing question, "Mom, do you have gonorrhea of the eyes?" 

Bear Testicles

The following is a conversation that happened between my son and me.


Alex - "Mom, does dad have any guns?"

Me - "No, we don't really like the idea of having guns around."

Alex - "But what if a bear attacks?"

Me - "I think we should just try to stay away from the bears."

Alex - "But what if one attacks anyway?"

Me - "Well, if a bear is attacking, it's probably a mama bear trying to protect her cubs so if we shoot her and kill her then the babies would die."

Alex (after a pause for thought) - "Mom, what do bear testicles look like?"